The Locker Room (Revs x Galaxy)

The Locker Room with Jim Shorts

Welcome to the Locker Room. In this article I will be breaking down the strategy the Rev’s should use against the Galaxy and also what you can expect from each Rev’s player.

Lets take a look at the top 5 Rev’s Players!

Benny Feilhaber – There is one thing everyone can expect Benny to do. And that is to look sexy as possible. The ladies love him and the guys want to be him. Benny will not dissapoint in the looks department this Saturday.

Sainey Nyassi- There are two things to look for with Nyassi. One is that he is going to run and boy he is going to run fast. The second thing is that he will run really fast down the wing and then do one step over and cut inside. Thus giving him a 50/50 shot for an attempt on goal or a cross/pass. If Nyassi decides to do a step over and continue his run down the outside he will either let the ball run out of the pitch or he will cross it to nobody.

Rajko Lekic- Expect Lekic to get mad and kick something or punch the air. They dont call him Psycho Rajko for nothing. Lekic gets angry and gets angry often. Some of you might have noticed Lekic vein on his head. That vein is actually his ANGER-OMETER it usually starts the game at a 5 out of 10. Not sure why he is so angry to start the game but we at F2R have people on the inside trying to figure that out. If Lekic does not get the ball and an attempt on goal within 10 minutes expect that anger vein to shoot all the way up to an 8. If this is the case David Beckham better watch out because the Zidane fiasco might end up being a thing of the past.

Ryan Cochrane- There are potentially three different Cochrane’s that could make an appearance on Saturday. First there is Mustache Cochrane. If MC shows up you can expect him to keep a level head, be nice and composed, and just an over all gentleman. Now if its the rebel Beard Cochrane you can expect a loss of temper, clumsy defending, and just an overall bad ass attitude. Finally the third Cochrane that could pop up on Saturday is Clean Shaven Cochrane. Now with CSC you can expect pretty much the same thing as you would from MC but just without a mustache. So keep your fingers crossed that Mustache Cochrane will be at the game.

Zak Boggs- Oh god. What can really be said about Zak Boggs. Everyone already knows what to expect from Boggs. He is going to try really hard and lose the ball 9.5 out of 10 times. Boggs seems like a deer in headlights when he gets the ball. He has no idea what to do with it and the thought of passing the ball forward is the furthest thing from his mind. If you havent noticed, the twitter hashtag #outwithboggs has come a long way. In fact Boggs even heard about it and posted a response on his personal twitter page. Perhaps this will fuel Boggs to start taking his vitamins, drinking his milk, praying every night, and practicing. However I think a Boggs 2.0 would be very similar to this waste of space we have now.

HOW THE REVS NEED TO PLAY!

There is one big thing the Rev’s cant do and that is score goals. I think if the revs played a 2-8 formation there would be goals galore and they might walk away with a win. Now you might say that a 2-8 would be stupid but think about it for a second. You have 2 defenders which is 1 more than you really need. This way if one of the defenders gets tired the other one can pick up the slack. Its a perfect defensive formation… plus you still have a goalie. That frees up 8 people to attack the opposition. You might say what about midfield? and I would say that the midfield is not important. When was the last time somebody scored a goal from midfield? Even if a goal is scored from midfield its usually because of a mistake by the goalie. So therefore the midfield is irrelevant in the game of soccer. Now back to the 8 attackers. That is an insane amount of people that not even a Jose Mourinho defensive line could contain. All i’m saying is that a 2-8 formation would most likely work and it is the most logical formation in my mind.

This has been your Locker Room RevsxGalaxy. Take what I said to the bank. Oh and my prediction for the game is 2-1 Revs.

-Jim Shorts

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